Kale is a group of vegetable cultivars, but it is also my name. I am settler born on Siksikaitsitapii territory, and am now living on stolen Musqueam, Squamish, Tsleil-Waututh territory.

I am a white, queer, disabled, sex positive intersectional feminist and activist who is passionate about building community.

I built the first version of this website and started making videos in early 2016, out of a desire to deepen my understanding about RA (relationship anarchy), and share that with other awesome people – that’s you!

In the past few years, I have started shifting my focus away from making RA YouTube videos, and working on other passion projects. For four years I produced a conference called Converge Con, which focused on diversity, sexuality, relationships and activism.

I have also been an equity and diversity facilitator since 2014, first working with the University of British Columbia Equity & Inclusion Office, presenting Positive Space Campaign workshops. I truly love that work, I am passionate about social justice and it is where I’ve always wanted to focus my energy.

Then in June 2020, everything I’ve been working on for the past decade or so all came together for me. Along with two friends and co-facilitators, we created Humanize Consulting. We started doing by donation webinars to fundraise for local grassroots orgs, and build workshops so we could work with organizations and non-profits to educate and engage on topics of inclusion and equity. I feel so energized to be doing this work!

And now I’m also back creating Youtube Videos for Humanize, which this time feel even more personal, as I talk about my own lived experience with my disability.

The lessons I learned from creating this website and my RA videos have been invaluable. I continue to receive emails weekly about how much people value this site and the work I have done, and it fills me with such gratitude. I hope you can find something here that speaks to you.

If you appreciate my work on this site and would like to make a donation to keep it running, you can can do so at paypal.me/kale5000. Thank you!


In 2019, Victor (they/them) spoke at the BC Center for Disease Control, Westcoast Bound, Seattle Erotic Arts Festival, Converge Con, and Stratagem: Workplace Justice Reimagined. Their content focuses on consent, accountability, anti-racism, and addressing toxic masculinity. In addition, they are an intersectional mixed-race feminist, queer relationship anarchist, educator, public speaker, Metro Vancouver Kink (MVK) legacy series educator, accountability coach, Vancouver Consent Crew facilitator, and host of Intimate Interactions Podcast (intimatePodcast.com)

They’ve been in the Vancouver Kink scene since 2012, and practicing ethical non monogamy since 2013. You can find them on the web (intimateVictor.com), on Twitter and Instagram (@intimateVictor), by email (victor@intimatevictor.com), and on Facebook (/intimateVictor).